When to See a Perinatal Mental Health Expert ( and How They Can Help)
When to See a Perinatal Mental Health Expert
& How They Can Help
Raise your hand if you’ve had a baby during a pandemic! Not to be glib, but that’s a lot of us here reading this, right?
I was about 20 weeks pregnant with my second child when the world shut down in March 2020. I still think about it and shudder, if I’m honest.
As a non-pregnant person, I’ve dealt with mental health concerns for most of my adult life. I was prepared for some postpartum depression and anxiety when I had both of my boys. I was not, in any way, prepared for postpartum rage. And I was definitely not prepared for the voice in my head that one night, while washing dishes said, “they’d be better off without you.”
This is a vulnerable place to write from. I would consider myself somewhat seasoned in my ability to cope through some gross and uncomfortable mental health struggles. But, that thought…whew.
I had already been just surviving through the crushing isolation that was the first year of COVID-19, but that was a dark place I truly never imagined I’d be in. I quickly recognized I needed help.
Because of my work in perinatal health (outside of teaching postnatal yoga), I’ve been lucky enough to be trained through an organization called Postpartum Support International (PSI). I took the Perinatal Mood Disorders training in 2016 and highly recommend checking out their website if you want to learn more about perinatal mood disorders or find training and/or support in your local area.
As a result of having this training and through other professional work, I knew that my “better off without you” thought was a big red flag. The next day, I began looking for a therapist.
This sounds pretty cut and dry, and I know that for many, it is decidedly not so. So, here are my suggestions:
If you are pregnant or postpartum and find yourself feeling not like yourself…
are unable to find joy…
are having intrusive thoughts (that you might want to hurt your baby or that something terrible is going to happen to your baby)…
or are more irritable than normal, it might be helpful to see a perinatal mental health professional.
Please know, these are just a couple of examples.
PSI has a lot of information about signs and symptoms and has partnered with the Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA) to create a 24/7 professionally staffed hotline and text line, called the Maternal Mental Health Hotline. If you find yourself just not feeling like “yourself”, this hotline can provide emotional support and connect you to local resources quickly.
Speaking from experience, the pandemic has been incredibly difficult. But, it brought about one really positive thing in mental health treatment and availability. Many more therapists offer virtual counseling, which was crucial for me when I did eventually seek out counseling. And perinatal mental health therapists are specially trained to support your needs during the motherhood/parenthood transition. They are there to recognize and help address the inherent concerns of being a new parent. They support you non-judgmentally, help you reframe your mindset about your own parenting abilities, and can offer coping skills for times when you really need them.
I always describe counseling as like “putting a mirror up in front of your face” and reflecting back your thoughts - whether they are irrational or just generally not serving you - having them reflected back to you or being gently led to reframing those negative thoughts can be life-changing.
And it’s important to remember that taking care of yourself is vital to taking care of your baby.
Taking care of yourself goes beyond just brushing your teeth and taking a shower. Recognizing when you need support and reaching out for it can be challenging, but speaking from experience, it’s worth it.
My children and my family are better off WITH me and I’m glad I sought help to realize this again. If you find yourself struggling, I hope you will recognize the value of reaching out as well and seek help.
Take care.