Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
PREGNANCY AND INFANT LOSS AWARENESS MONTH
Jenna shares her personal experience with pregnancy loss, grief & ritual
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This is an important and tender month for many as we remember the pregnancies or babies we have lost. It’s a group I never wanted to be a part of, and my loss was much more difficult than I ever imagined.
I had a pregnancy loss in July 2019. It was incredibly difficult - physically and emotionally - and I was surprised how lonely it felt. With time and healing work, being a “loss mama” has slowly moved from a painful reality to one of my identities. Don’t get me wrong - I still grieve and intentionally remember. I don’t want to forget or not feel it. It brings me comfort to feel that our baby’s spirit is with me and our family always.
I found rituals to mark our loss, my favorite of which is our grief tree and jizo statue.
Jenna’s Jizo Statue
In Japanese culture, jizo statues represent the baby or pregnancy (depending what term you use) that has passed, as well as a diety that helps protect the spirits of those children and helps them reach the afterlife. These statues are placed in public places, openly acknowledging that these deaths are also part of life.
There’s such a stigma against sharing about pregnancy and infant loss. I genuinely think people aren’t comfortable with the whole idea that not all babies make it and not all pregnancies result in live births. But that is our reality, that women and birthing people have to carry every day and many never share at all. This motivates me to create spaces and conversations where these losses are talked about and shared.
If you are also a loss mama or loss parent, I invite you to take some time to honor your loss or losses this month.
One way is to join me and my colleague Yailyn, a licensed professional counselor, on Wednesday, October 26 for a virtual Pregnancy and Infant Loss Circle of Support. You can expect a time for mindfulness, journaling, gentle yoga and optional sharing with others.
However you choose to honor your loss or losses this month, know that I am holding this very tender community in my heart.